whats wrong?! somebody tell me...

seriously...wats wrong?
i'm sry u guys have to read another emo post...
but then again, who will actually visit my blog and read de posts?
lol...
i noe i haven't been myself lately..
i jus get so frustrated and all..
its like there are so many probs lately and i can't get them off me...
really feel like screaming my lungs out...

other than those times when i'm hanging out wiz my frens,
i can't rmb de last time i was laughing or smiling away...
i laugh...sometimes..but they dun come frm within..
more like i'm using laughter to make myself happy, to mask any unhappiness...
but apparently it doesn't work..
right.. maybe it does work for a second or 2...
but it doesn't last longer than that..
i may even give ppl de wrong idea tat i'm pissed wiz them or sth..
but theres jus nth to be happy abt wateva that happens everyday..

i feel like i'm losing de fun and bubbly part of me...
in fact, i think i'm losing everything...
everything that i care abt and means sth to me...everything that i love..
things are getting serious...
and i dun like it...
life seriously sux...
and de last thing i need is somebody trying to A.P. me..
a smile can work wonders u noe...

CRUSH...

dunno why.. but this song has been ringing in my head..
ahhh...
i can even unconciously start singing this song..
rite.. i noe its dumb..but its true..
zzzz....

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away....

updates+oral..

hey.. so chinese oral was definitely screwed..
i think i did even worse compared to mid-year..
i can literally see my distinction flying away...
and its o'levels...
i'm so doomed.. seriously..
gg..

anyways, updates on the presentation at nanyang..
well, i tot it was pretty fun though we were also kinda screwed..
de sch is huge, and de ppl are nice..
yea.. pretty cool environment...
we had combined presentation which was de fun part...
our topic was sth related to peranakan culture...
yep.. so we teamed up wiz a Jing Yuan Sch frm shanghai and Maris Stella High..
our sch has de most no. of ppl and we were all girls so de guys were outnumbered..
lols..
anyways, we decided to convey our message thru songs..
there were 3 songs we chose and changed de lyrics to our content..
yea.. if i'm not wrong, we chose 翅膀，菊花台& 手牵手。
yep.. so i made quite a few new frens.. had some great laughs..
yep..it was pretty cool..

yea.. gtg study bio..
haiz.. sad life...

ORAL

rite.. presentation thingy at nanyang was pretty cool..
actually it was very screwed but i guess it was kinda fun..
felt lyk a potato... heh
its late.. think i'll share de details another time..
i made new frens!!!! lol

O'LEVEL CHINESE ORAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gg...

first post in july...

hey.. so its de third week of july..
many things have happened...
and its been pretty taxing trying to catch up wiz de syllabus and everything...
wiz some projects and tests along de way..
some of which can really drive me to suicide...
yep...
this week..lets see..
i've got ppt presentation 2morow at nanyang girls,
bio test 2morow which i'll probably take on wed or thur..
O'LEVEL chinese oral on wed...
and amath test on fri...
gg rite?... i noe..

best is i'm so unfamiliar wiz de test topics..
its like asking me to understand tamil...
wth... lol

haiz.. life rilly sux..
feel lyk i'm losing everything tat i want...
everything that i cherish...
and de stress and workload jus keeps piling up..
leaving me no time of my own..
emo-ing....

SIGHT, SOUND, SENSES AND SOUL..its not what we wanted

so.. concert is over.. jus lyk tat..
abt an hour on stage and its over..
i'm not sure wat to say abt de concert...
de feeling is complicated...
de feeling of triumph somehow didn't flood me lyk i expected it too...

i didn't leave de stage thinking:"omg!! tat was it! we did it!it was amazing!"
instead i felt:"its over?...erm..ok..erm..wth"

it wasn't disastrous neither was it a terrible failure...
but we jus didn't show wat we cld do..
we were obviously not showing our true or full ability...
we cld have done better.. and we noe it..
our performance didn't reach mr toh's expectation...
neither did it reach de standard of our inner compass...

mr toh was upset.. he was gonna cry..
though he said he was proud of us cuz dis is de fruit of our labour...
but de fruit wasn't sweet..
which made us feel worse...
our first performance in esplanade and it wasn't perfect...
i'm really... i dunno...
he's right.. it is time for reflection and some soul-searching...

regardless, i wld also lyk to thank some ppl for their support..

thank you, mr toh for everything u've done for us... u've done so much..
sacrificed so much for us, love us... i really dunno wat to say..
really... thank you...u're really de perfect conductor...

thank you, mr tan for always motivating us, encouraging us and giving us inspirational talk...
and let de choir understand alot of things... we all agree tat u're a great teacher-in-charge..
and i dun tink theres anyone better...

thank you, comm for working together and supporting each other throughout de process...

thank you, seniors for coming back to sing wiz us..
esp. jenna and pamela...
though u guys have long graduated but u guys still take time off to come back for this concert..

anyways,for the audience....
i wld really lyk to thank all of u who came and support us...
thank u all so much...
i noe i spam quite alot of ppl abt concert..sry abt tat..
but i'm glad u guys came...
thank you thank you thank you so much for coming..
really appreciate it:)
many of u commented tat u love de last song...
UBI CARITAS...
yep.. tats de name..
it means when there is charity..
but de whole song is abt love cuz de phrase is...
ubi caritas et amor...
which means when there is charity and love..
i'm glad u guys love it.. i like it too...

for those of u who cried upon hearing dis song last nite, thank you...
cuz its suppose to tug at ur heart strings...
its our choir anthem or sth lyk tat...
once again, thank you all for ur support:)